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MY WISH LIST ON THIS DAY OF OLDER PERSONS IN 2008

Did you know that the United Nations designated 1 October as the International Day of Older Persons? I bet the day came and went like any other day for most senior citizens – uneventful and forgettable. The local media did not deem the day important enough to devote some space to it in their columns. Only The Star carried a small mention with a link to a pathetic video hastily put together presumably to meet its corporate social responsibility agenda. Just goes to show how little attention is paid to this fast-growing segment of society.

To mark this auspicious day, it wouldn’t hurt to have our prime minister send us greetings and wish us well in a televised message!

Today, world-wide, there are around 600 million persons aged 60 years and over; this total will double by 2025 and will reach virtually two billion by 2050 – the vast majority of them in the developing world.
Here’s my wish list for older persons:

1. Elderly-friendly traffic lights where the green light for pedestrians stays on a little longer to enable older (and slower) persons to cross busy roads safely.

2. More benches at shopping malls where the elderly can rest their tired feet. KLCC is the least shopper-friendly in this aspect.

3. Bigger print on price tags and food labels – the better to see if the product is safe for consumption!

4. Priority counters / queues for senior citizens at banks, cashiers, taxi stands, ticket counters.

5. Wider aisles in supermarkets.

6. Non-slip floors, non-trip pathways and steps in public buildings.

7. Club house cum community centre with full facilities for senior citizens. By the way, there’s one nearing completion in Ampang.

8. Restaurants that offer elderly-friendly menus. Think easily digestible, healthy food that have less salt, less sugar, and less fat.

9. Toilets and urinals with hand rails.

10. Mobile phones with large letters and numbers for easy dialling, and light enough for the pocket.

And the list goes on……….

(Footnote; This article was posted on 2 oct 2008. For the next few years since then I would post a lament that the day was nit celebrated in our country. I am glad that in recent years this has changed. Today as I pen this footnote on 1 Oct 2021, there are events and activities specially organised by both the govt, NGOs and the private sector to celebrate the day and wish all our warga emas good health and long life.)
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THE GOLD STANDARD FOR AGED CARE HOMES?

Coming up the driveway to Little Sisters of the Poor / St Francis Xavier Home for the Elderly in Cheras, KL

It was back in the 1970s that I first heard of Little Sisters of the Poor (LSP). I had imagined it to be a place where the elderly poor would spend their final years looked after by caring nuns who had dedicated their lives to God and to charity work. Being much younger then, I had little interest and absolutely no reason at all to visit the place.

Near impossible to find an aged care facility in the city centre with so much greenery and open spaces.

Decades later and now the founder of a seniors community, I had good reasons to pay a visit. Over the years LSP has gained a solid reputation as the ‘gold standard’ for aged care facilities. It has become the yardstick to measure other similar facilities.

So when the opportunity came last August to visit LSP with a group of academicians from UPM, I grabbed it. The visit was certainly an eye-opener. To say I was impressed by what I saw is putting it mildly. I was awestruck!

Let me take you on a virtual tour of LSP.

The dining hall. Great idea to use cut-out tennis balls to protect against scratching the floor and also to reduce noise.
The reading room.
The hair salon. Notice the gleaming floors at LSP. Unbelievable!
The physiotherapy room.
The sewing room. Note also the natural lighting in all the rooms.
The shop where items made by the residents and volunteers are sold.
Lounges are everywhere for residents and visitors to rest their tired feet or simply to sit down for a chat and relax.
The tea room.
The kitchen – spick and span and spotlessly clean.
The laundry room. Adjacent to it is where clothes are sorted and folded.
There are hand rails all along the corridors, and in the lifts. Note too the wall phones on every level.
A peek into one of the rooms with attached bathroom and toilet.
Benches on every level. Facilities at LSP are without doubt elderly-centred.
At the cafeteria listening to Sister share about LSP.
The main hall where the residents were enjoying some performances when we dropped in.
Colourful drawings by the residents.
Fun activities to keep the residents happily occupied.
Daily programme of activities for the month.
Group photo in the garden at the end of our visit.

It would be a challenge for most existing aged care centres to come close to LSP in terms of size, facilities and dedicated staff. Work becomes a devotion when one is serving God. Throw in cleanliness, efficiency and integrity, and you can understand why there is a long waiting list for admission to LSP.

Little Sisters of the Poor celebrated its golden anniversary last December 2015. What a remarkable achievement! Pope Francis sent a special apostolic blessing to mark the auspicious occasion. I was gifted a copy of the commemorative book.

With the proposed Aged Healthcare Act to be introduced next year, the elderly in old folks home, aged care centres and nursing homes in Malaysia can look forward to better care and better facilities. Aged care centres that fail to meet the stipulated standards will face stiff penalties. They will also have to be licensed and registered.

It’s been a long time coming. 

(An update: Since writing the above article in 2016, there has been a mushrooming of aged care centres all over the country, particularly in the Klang Valley. This is due to our growing ageing population as well as other socio-economic changes. The newer care homes are a huge improvement over the early ones which I visited between 2011-2016. Those were run mainly by people who had a heart to do good but had little experience or knowledge on how to manage an aged care facility. Today many of these centres are well-managed, have trained staff and volunteers and age-friendly facilities. They are a far cry from the old folks homes of past years. There is still room for further improvement. A challenge indeed as these homes depend largely on charity, public support and dedicated volunteers.) 
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WHEN POP MUSIC RULED MY GROWING UP YEARS

The early 1960s were my coming of age years. I learned to dance and went on my first date. My grades at school took a dip when I discovered Billboard Top Hits and our own Top 10. The music came from the local radio stations, of course, and from my collection of LPs and EPs, those black vinyl records that I would play over and over again on the turn-table. We had no TV or CD players then.

If I had some money saved, I would buy Tigerbeat. It was the #1 teen magazine then. I would cut out pictures of my favourite teen idols like Ricky Nelson and Cliff Richard, and paste them into my voluminous song-book containing hundreds of lyrics all hand-written. We had no computers then.

Just the other day I was browsing Youtube when I came across these vintage songs from the 1960s. In those days, songs were sung with emotion and lyrics held meaning. A far cry from the majority of today’s top hits. Here’s a selection for your listening pleasure as you reminisce on the good old days when the world was our oyster and life was ours to explore.

 

 
 
Then Woodstock happened in 1969. My taste in music changed, but that’s another story for another day…..
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STRETCHING OUR RETIREMENT SAVINGS

It’s been 500 days today since the MCO lockdown on 18 March 2020. We hardly hear about the new normal these days, but more about the new poor. The M40 group is shrinking as more are joining the ranks of the B40. With massive lay-offs, and businesses shutting down, people are facing an uncertain future, except civil servants and senior citizens. Right? The former have guaranteed jobs and salaries while retirees and pensioners have their savings to rely on. They have no job to lose or debts piling up from business closure. 

Well, the economic downtown affects everyone, directly or indirectly. When money is scarce and savings are depleting fast, it’s time to tighten our belts several notches. How can we do it without feeling the pinch too much? Is it possible to still enjoy the simple pleasures of life without sacrificing too much of our creature comforts?

ABSOLUTELY! Here are 10 suggestions:

1. Give luxuries and branded items a miss at least for now
What can we give up without feeling too much pain? Definitely luxuries and branded items. Ladies, do you really need that RM3000 LV bag? Won’t a RM150 bag do just as well? Guys, this isn’t the time to get that RM10,000 Tag Heuer watch. Wait till your bank account improves. In the meantime, stick with your current watch which still does a good job of telling time.

2. Do you really need all those expensive health supplements?
Take a good look at your health supplements. Do you really need that many? Seniors spend hundreds of ringgit a month on multi-vitamins, health juices and tonics. We should consider alternatives for maintaining good health like exercise, proper eating habits, adequate sleep and a positive mental attitude, all of which are free. Keep supplements to a minimum, and only those that work for you.

3. Downsize, downsize, downsize
We can’t repeat this often enough. If it’s just you and your spouse, sell the family-size house and move to a smaller one. Less time and energy spent too on maintaining the place. Consider renting a smaller place if you want to keep the house, and get a tenant for the family home. As for the family car, the sooner you sell off the fuel-guzzling monster for a compact, fuel-saving and reliable Myvi, the better off you will be in terms of savings.

4. No shame in hand-me downs
This applies more to electronic devices like computers, smart phones, and cameras. If your adult children are in the habit of upgrading their electronic devices each time the latest model is on the market, let them know you’ll be happy to be the new owner of their discards. We know of retirees whose homes are equipped with second-hand items like TVs, karaoke systems, refrigerators and washing machines all handed down from their children, and all still in pristine working condition.

5. Consider cheaper options
Eat at home, or at food courts when out in the city. We can give ourselves a treat at a nice restaurant every other week. Going for a vacation? Book with budget airlines, and stay at no-frills budget hotels. The difference between a 3-star hotel and a 4-star one is just one star, but it could mean a saving of a few thousand ringgit for an extended stay. Take public transport and leave the car for places not served by trains or buses, or for when you need to get somewhere in a hurry. You will be surprised how much you can save on fuel.

6. Ask for senior discounts
Nothing to be ashamed of in asking about senior discounts. Many restaurants, cinemas, and retail outlets do offer special rates for seniors aged 60 and above. Apply for a warga emas RapidKL card to get 50% off on train and bus services. Better still, make use of the free Go-KL and PJ City shuttle bus services. If you shop regularly at certain establishments, get a member’s privilege card to enjoy discounts or special rates.

7. Less is more
So true when it comes to food, clothes, credit cards, indeed, almost everything. Over-eating can lead to obesity and ill health, over-buying can lead to clutter and hoarding, and over-possession of credit cards can lead to debt and financial ruin. One credit card should suffice to cover your purchases. The same goes for trips abroad – set a limit that is within your means. By the way, ladies, less is also more when it comes to wearing make-up, perfume or jewellery. To look younger, wearing a smile is more effective than getting a face-lift. So much cheaper too.

8. Look out for sales and bargains
Patience is a money-saver when it comes to shopping. You can get fantastic bargains on books at the Big Bad Wolf sale or the annual Popular Bookfest. Shop for clothes when departmental stores are having massive discounts. Shop at discount stores like Mr DIY or convenience stores like 99-Speedmart where prices are kept low and affordable. As for groceries, opt for wet markets, night markets and hypermarkets.


9. Don’t try and keep up with the Datuks and Tan Sris
If you don’t have a healthy bank balance, you should refrain from living a lavish lifestyle just to keep up appearances. You don’t have to celebrate your birthday in grand style if you can’t afford it. And you don’t need to throw a lavish dinner for your daughter’s wedding if it puts you in the red. In short, don’t be a kiasu.

10. Count the costs and check your budget
You won’t go wrong if you adopt a practical and sensible approach towards managing your finances. Spend only when necessary, and do the math before you part with your money. Go for value. Ask yourself if you can afford it, if you really need it, and if there’s a cheaper option that’s almost as good as the one you have in mind.

Better to be called a cheapskate than to be declared a bankrupt. Better to sleep soundly with peace of mind, than to be hounded by creditors and re-possessors, or worse by Ah Longs.

Unless you have investments that pay generous dividends, unless you have a business that generates high revenue, unless you have a job that comes with a handsome salary, the best way to ensure your savings will see you through your retirement years is to LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE.

Warren Buffet, one of the wealthiest men in the world, has the last word on why we must learn to spend wisely:

(This is an updated version of a previously posted article.)

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SENIORS DISCOVER HIDDEN TALENTS THROUGH ONLINE CLASSES

Chan (left) with her brush painting. Next to her is U3A vice-president Lily Fu. (Photo: Julia Chan)

Retiree Rahmah Abdul Aziz, 79, says that joining the University of the Third Age (U3A) – a programme under the Lifelong Learning for Older Malaysians project by Universiti Putra Malaysia’s Institute of Gerontology – has given her a new lease on life.

“I was moping around the house, didn’t go out much, and had lost interest in life after retiring and illness prevented me from doing volunteer social work for certain associations I was a member of,” says the former English teacher who joined U3A in 2010.

“So I decided to give U3A a try after a friend told me about it, and it changed me,” she says, adding with a laugh that all her aches and pains and penyakit orang tua (old people’s sickness) went away.

“You know… when elderly people don’t do anything – they don’t move around or mix with people – they get into a rut, and the mind and the body deteriorates. So being active again and learning something new, ensures you don’t become nyanyuk (senile),” she adds.

Rahmah has taken many classes at U3A including art (acrylic, watercolour and batik), language (Mandarin, French and Japanese), choir singing, and photography. She also takes some of the classes together with her husband, such as Agama Islam, car maintenance, air-con repair and plumbing.

“Initially, I took about nine subjects (most students take a maximum of three at any one time) each semester for the first six years. It was crazy but it gave me a new lease on life and made me active again because I had to wake up early just to go out for classes,” she adds.

Rahmah reveals that even though she uses a walking stick, she made the effort to go all the way to the campus (in Serdang) to attend her classes before the pandemic. There are also some wheelchair-bound seniors who attend the classes, as most of the facilities are disabled-friendly, she says, adding that although she isn’t the oldest student at U3A, she is eldest in most of her classes.

Part of a Lifelong Learning for Older Malaysians project by Universiti Putra Malaysia’s Institute of Gerontology, (now renamed Malaysian Research Institute on Ageing or MyAgeing) U3A enables senior citizens to go back to university without worrying about taking exams or tests.

The emphasis is on “learning for leisure”, to provide opportunities for retired and semi-retired people to get together to continue their educational, social and creative interests in a friendly and informal environment.

Siti Safura Mohamad Sarif, 53, from Seremban, Negri Sembilan, started taking classes at U3A in 2019. Some of the classes that she has taken are baking, traditional dance, art (watercolour) and floral arrangement.

“I’m happy because at my age, I can still discover my hidden talents in painting and flower arrangement. And, I’m happy with the results,” says Siti Safura who lives in Kajang, Selangor.

“We get to mix around with people from different backgrounds and make new friends. It makes me recall my school days too,” she says.

“It’s important for people to continue learning even as they grow older. Learning never stops no matter how old one is. It’s good to increase our knowledge and it’s good for health too, ” she adds.

During the pandemic, Siti Safura has taken several classes online, namely art (watercolours) and floral arrangement.

U3A vice president Lily Fu says: “After a year-long hiatus for many of U3A’s classes since the first movement control order in 2020, we decided to conduct last year’s classes virtually during the first six months of 2021.”

“Furthermore, Zoom allows us to go nationwide so it’s just not limited to the Klang Valley, ” she says.

“It was tough getting seniors to accept online classes initially but they eventually did. We held Zoom workshops and shared YouTube tutorials to assist them,” says Fu.

Blooming success

One of their success stories in online classes was Floral Arrangement.

“We thought it would be challenging for both the instructor and her students. But it turned out to be a wonderful showcase of how a practical hands-on course can be taught 100% online, ” says Fu.

Julia Chan from Petaling Jaya, joined U3A in 2019 and has taken several classes including Chinese brush painting, gamelan, traditional (Malay) dance, choir singing and ukulele.

“I believe in life-long learning and now – during senior years – is the best time to master and experience what I’ve always wanted to,” says Chan who is in her 60s. “U3A has given us a chance to graduate from these courses stress-free, at our own pace.”

Learning new things helps us to grow old gracefully, keeps us alert and updated on the latest technologies, says Chan who completed her ukulele classes virtually.


New intake for 2021

Registration for the new semester starts from July1, 2021 onwards and there will be over 50 short courses offered.

“I’m sure seniors will welcome this online learning and making of new friends during the extended stay-home period,” says Fu.

“It’s been more than a year now since the MCO started. Seniors have repeatedly been told they’re in the vulnerable group and should stay home as far as possible. But then, seniors thrive on going out for morning walks, kopitiam chats and visiting friends.

So, it’s really a challenge to remain at home most of the time,” she says.

“U3A offers 53 (mostly online) courses in total, covering categories from music and art, to languages and living skills, to keep them happily occupied from July to December,” she adds.

There are 10 brand new courses this new semester, including DIY Repair, Declutter with Joy, Grooming and Etiquette, Charcoal Sketching and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM).

“Based on the philosophy of “learning for leisure”, there aren’t any exams but many courses do have assignments to complete. No academic degrees are conferred, but the members are very serious about the learning that takes place, ” says Fu.

At the end of each year, there is a graduation ceremony where certificates of completion are awarded. There is also a concert where the seniors perform and an exhibition where they can display their finished projects.

U3A is open to all Malaysians aged 50 and above. Seniors have to register to become a member before signing up for classes. There are three categories of membership: associate members (50-54 years old), ordinary members (55 and above), and life members (those who have been an ordinary member for two years or more may upgrade to LM.).

More about U3A at our facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/U3AMalaysia/ 

Our website is at https://u3aklsel.wixsite.com/malaysia

(The above was originally published online in The Star 28 June 2021 at this link. However, as many seniors do not have access to the online article, we are sharing it here for their benefit and information. Our aim is to encourage our warga emas to enrol for the courses as they will enjoy the benefits of lifelong learning. Not only will they remain mentally and physically active during the extended months of stay-home, but also make new social connections through learning together with their peers in a safe and friendly environment.)

If you are a first-timer, you must sign up for membership first and pay the fees. Annual membership is Rm25 plus a registration fee of Rm15. Associate members (age 50-54) and ordinary members (55 and above) must renew their annual membership. If you have been an OM for two years, you have the option to opt for life membership at Rm150. The registration link can be accessed at 

https://forms.gle/Z3Y3VKtFNBZ23B1D9

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MY MOM HAS ALZHEIMER’S – WILL I GET IT TOO?

My mother first showed signs of Alzheimer’s Disease probably as early as 2008. She was 82 then. She couldn’t remember dates, places and names of family members. She didn’t know one day from another, and forgot what she just had for dinner or where she had left her purse.

That was 11 years ago. I had not heard of Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) then. Like most people with elderly parents at home, I took these signs as part of the normal ageing process. It was commonly accepted that people turned senile (nyanyok) in their old age, so I wasn’t too concerned about it. It was only later that I discovered having AD is NOT part of ageing. It does not happen to every elderly person.

My mom would repeatedly ask the same questions even though I had just given the answers. It was almost impossible to hold a simple conversation with her. Her attention would drift off to some distant places in her memory. It was as if a mist had clouded the clarity of the moment. She was there with me but yet not there. I didn’t know then how to handle such a situation.

It took a fall at home and subsequent hip surgery for my mom in March 2011 before I learned about Alzheimer’s. During the ten days my mom was in hospital, her doctor noticed signs of the disease in her behaviour. He suggested I take her to see a geriatrician for a proper examination. A visit to see a geriatrician at UMMC Specialist Hospital and some tests later confirmed my mom had AD.

Learning more about dementia at Hogeweyk, Amsterdam, and pursuing an MSc degree in Applied Gerontology so I could better understand the ageing process.

Thus began my interest in reading up as much as I could about AD. In December 2013, I signed up for an online course on Living with Dementia: Impact on Individuals, Caregivers, Communities and Societies offered by Johns Hopkins University. In 2015, my passion to learn more about AD took me to Hogeweyk, the world’s first dementia village in Amsterdam. In 2017, I enrolled for MSc in Applied Gerontology at NTU, Singapore. At 69, I was the oldest in the pioneer class. I attended numerous conferences to learn about the latest developments in AD research and treatment. As my mom’s primary caregiver, I wanted to know how to provide better care for her. At the same time I could learn how to avoid ending up with AD myself. And as a blogger and founder of a seniors’ community, I could share what I have learned with others.

The statistics for Alzheimer’s are alarming. According to the World Health Organisation Report (WHO) 2019, there are currently 50 million persons with dementia (PWDs). This number is expected to increase to over 150 million in 2050. The World Health Organisation (WHO) 2014 report put the number of people in Malaysia with dementia in 2015 at 123,000. This number was projected to be 261,000 by 2030 and would continue to increase to 590,000 people in 2050. Alarming statistics!

What’s the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease?

I have frequently been asked this question. Put simply, dementia is an umbrella term for a host of diseases that affect the normal functioning of the brain. Depending on which part of the brain is affected, diseases associated with dementia include Alzheimer’s Disease, vascular dementia, Lewy bodies (DLB) and frontotemporal dementia. The most common of these is Alzheimer’s Disease which affects mostly the elderly. However, early onset dementia affecting adults in their 40s and 50s is on the rise.

Is Alzheimer’s Disease hereditary?

This is the golden question for me. Aside from my mom, my great grandmother probably had it too. When I was growing up in the 1950s I recall seeing her playing with a baby doll, and treating it as if it were her own child. Another time I saw her packing a few personal belongings in a sarong, and telling the family she was going to take a trishaw ‘home’, meaning China. These incidents are etched in my memory. I have at least four members in my extended family who were diagnosed with dementia (AD) in their final years. 

Like my mom, one of my aunts also showed signs of behavioural changes in her old age. She would accuse everyone of conspiracy, of hiding her passport and stealing her money. All not true, of course. But when she told me so-and-so had stolen her valuables, I believed her. It was only later when she was diagnosed with AD that everything she said and did began to make sense.

Does that put me at risk? Yes, but at risk does not mean 100% or even 30% certainty. I may or may not develop AD. There are preventive measures I can take to reduce the risks, such as exercises and activities that promote brain health and cognitive functioning.

Read about the APOE gene that determines whether you may be at risk of developing AD.

I am very forgetful. Is this a sign of early Alzheimer’s Disease?

All of us are forgetful, some more than others. How often have we forgotten where we parked our car, the name of someone we have just been introduced to, or the lyrics of songs we used to sing? We refer to these lapses of memory as ‘senior moments’. Red flags of AD include repeatedly forgetting recent events and confusion in retrieving them. This Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) or lapses in short-term memory may signal early Alzheimer’s. Over time as the disease progresses, these memory lapses can potentially have serious consequences. My mom would forget to turn off the gas completely after cooking, forget to lock the front door when she left the house, or forget whether she had taken her medication. The latter could have resulted in a drug overdose. My mom also had mood swings, an obsession with collecting tissue paper and was prone to wandering around the house at wee hours of the morning.

My mom enjoyed browsing through newspapers and magazines. I bought this book for her in the hope the images would trigger recall from the deep recesses of her memory bank.
We often read in the papers of a missing elderly who later turned out to have forgotten how to get home. There are no statistics on the number of such cases in Malaysia. The Japan Times (June 2019) reported that a record 16,927 dementia patients in Japan went missing in 2018. Alarming indeed. Do not leave an elderly unaccompanied especially in an unfamiliar place e.g. a busy hospital or a noisy mall. My mom had on several occasions stopped midway to our neighbourhood supermarket, unsure whether she was heading in the right direction despite having walked there countless times before. Confusion with directions is common in PWDs.

Can Alzheimer’s be prevented?

Thanks to Google and the efforts of the Alzheimer’s Disease Foundation of Malaysia (ADFM) over the years to educate the public, we now know more about AD. Not everyone develops the disease in their old age. There are people in their 80s and 90s whose minds continue to remain sharp. 

At present there is no cure for AD despite what we read in the media, from coconut oil to ayuvedic treatment. Prescribed medicines for AD can only slow down the progress of the disease at best. Most of the drugs, e.g. memantine, have side effects. AD is a degenerative disease that can span many years, ultimately ending in death. I have watched my mom slowly change from a lively chatty woman to a shadow of her former self. After suffering a mini-stroke in February 2019, she lost her ability to speak, and her memory completely left her. She did not know who I was nor did she even ask. She would sit in total silence, in a world of her own where visitors were barred from entering.

When my mom was discharged from hospital after her second surgery, she was prescribed expensive drugs by one doctor after another. After several years of seeing little improvement in my mom, and on the advice of a doctor friend, I decided to stop all the medication. My mom remained mostly drug-free till the last couple of years after her stroke when she had to take prescription drugs as and when needed. In general she maintained a hearty appetite and slept well  That was good enough for me.

Here’s what I would like to share from what I have learned and practised. Preventive steps for dementia do not cost much money. Follow a regular exercise regime and adopt a healthy diet. Monitor your sugar level, blood pressure and weight. Keep your brain actively engaged with mental stimulation such as learning a new language or a new skill. Travelling broadens the mind, so go on trips whenever you can. Finally, build a network of close friends and avoid social isolation.

What preventive measures do I take?

As I am at higher risk than others of getting Alzheimer’s, I make sure I stay active physically and mentally. I have always been active, interested in and curious about a lot of things. I read a lot, especially on ageing-related issues. I write a lot too. Curating for news and events to share on Facebook keeps me mentally busy daily. These activities stimulate the brain. That is why I enrolled for my second masters degree at a late age. I also took up singing, line dancing and learned to play the ukulele. Memorizing lyrics, dance steps and ukulele chords helps to stimulate my brain cells. I have been attending courses offered by the University of the Third Age (U3A) since 2011. Lifelong learning keeps the brain well-oiled and the social connections I make will hopefully keep AD at bay. ‘Never too old to learn new things’ has become my mantra for living life with a positive mindset.

The Mini Mental State Exam (MMSE) is widely used to test for cognitive function. My mom refused to draw the clock when the doctor told her to. She probably could not remember the order of the numbers.

If you are curious to know whether you or a family member has early AD, you could try taking the Mini-Mental State Examnation (MMSE). It is a popular test for cognitive functioning, and includes tests on memory recall, language and focus. There is even a Malay version. The scores will provide an indication of whether the person has any cognitive impairment. As it is only a simple diagnostic test, it should be followed up with a visit to the geriatrician for a full examination. 

When the pandemic SOP allows it, drop by at ADFM community corner at Wisma Atria, PJ, to find out more about AD. There are weekly group activities there for PWDs (persons with dementia) and their caregivers.

(The above article was first posted in Nov 2019. It has been updated after my mom passed away in February 2021. Her journey with Alzheimer’s lasted eleven years from her diagnosis. I am glad most of those years were relatively happy ones for her.)

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MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL, TIME HAS NOT BEEN KIND TO ME AT ALL

Baby boomers are looking much younger than their age these days. 60 is the new 40, they say, thanks in part to cosmetic aids and medical advances.

However, there are certain parts of the body that reveal our real age, that no amount of clever cosmetic tricks will cover up for long. Let’s leave aside surgical procedures that enhance one’s physical appearance. After all, how many of us have the financial resources to go down that expensive route to looking ‘youthful’? Not many.

This tongue-in-cheek post is dedicated to those among us to whom “60 is the new 40” does NOT apply. We look our age, and for some, even older than our age!

10 body parts that betray our age, in no particular order.

1. Face
No prizes if you got this right. The lines on our face (and neck) tell the truth – that we are no spring chicks. More like autumn hens, or turkeys if you know what I mean.

2. Knees and elbows
From years of wear and tear, the skin covering these joints resemble the roughness and toughness of elephant skin. When my grandson was 4, he used to be fascinated by the folds on my hands and kept trying to see if he could smoothen them out!

3. Skin
Like the migratory birds that fly south during the winter months, our skin goes south too. Unfortunately for us, it is a permanent southward migration. In old age, our skin loses its elasticity and literally ‘hangs loose’.

4. Eyes
From ‘Dreamy Eyes’ to ‘Droopy Eyes’. If only we could iron out those laughter lines or ‘crow feet’ that surface each time we laugh out loud. No wonder we seldom see older women react to jokes no matter how hilarious!

5. Neck
Now you know why older women wear scarves or opt for clothes with a high collar. The dreaded ‘turkey neck’ syndrome afflicts all of us, sooner or later.

6. Hands
Unless we wear gloves all the time, there is no way we can hide our wrinkled, gnarled hands. They are a dead giveaway of our age. 

7. Hair
Not only does our hair turn grey, silver, white, it goes into free-fall whenever we brush it. The horror of removing clumps of hair from the hair brush and from the bathroom floor. Yikes! 

8. Teeth
The number dwindles with advancing age. Only solution – dentures or implants. That explains why most older folks prefer soft foods!

9. Breasts
This affects women more than men. No longer firm and perky, the breasts now swing freely and resemble papayas.

10. Penis
This body part in older men spends more time hanging down than pointing up. Fortunately, the little blue pill comes in handy, and is a life-saver for grandpas that still want some action..

The funny side of ageing – developing a sense of humor helps to keep us young in spirit

For a peek at some nude paintings that captures the way our body really looks, click here.

Depressing, isn’t it? We miss how we used to look. No wonder many of us avoid looking in the mirror, especially a full-length one. The years do take a toll on our body.

Looking great has a lot to do with feeling great. It’s more important to remain young at heart and in spirit than looking young in appearance.

Here are some great tips on how we can do just that, courtesy of Audrey Hepburn.

A truly loving spouse, partner or friend will see beyond the external and look deeper into that beauty of soul and spirit that still reside inside all of us. But we must continue to nurture that inner youthfulness and keep it forever young. 
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EMPOWERING OLDER PEOPLE WITH DIGITAL LITERACY

 

Ageism is closing the doors of opportunity to our senior citizens. Whether it is looking for employment, getting a place in an HRDF upskilling course or applying for a bank loan to start a business, our age puts us at a disadvantage. It shouldn’t.

The recent announcement in the media of the government speeding up the introduction of 5G in the country is leaving many seniors out in the cold, especially those now in their 70s and 80s. They are lagging so far behind in digital literacy that it’s unlikely they will be able to participate actively in the digital economy. Many of these elderly are either single living on their own or are empty nesters.

Who is there to help these older people learn how to use the internet and get connected online for e-services? There is as yet no educational institute where they can enrol for courses on social media apps and entrepreneurial skills. What we have currently are piecemeal ad hoc workshops offered by NGOs and IT companies. These usually comprise a few hours of instruction or a one-day workshop at best. Grossly insufficient.

What we are asking for is a government-supported initiative where digital skills courses are offered throughout the year. IMDA Singapore started Seniors Go Digital in 2017. Since then more than 140,000 seniors have benefitted from this programme. But this is in Singapore. Can we have something similar here in Malaysia?
       
There is also the National Silver Academy which offers a wide range of courses including digital literacy courses. Seniors are literally spoilt for choice. Fees are affordable. Seniors can pay from their SkillsFuture Credit of S$500 given by the government to all citizens.

Seniors themselves must also be responsible for their own learning. Where there is a will, there is always a way. We have to adopt a positive attitude towards learning. This is part of the ethos of lifelong learning. There is no such thing as being too old to learn something. When an opportunity to learn something new and useful is made available to us, we should take it. We shouldn’t let the fear of failing or the lack of confidence be our excuse. 
I recall in the late 1990s when teachers were told they had to start using the computer to teach, some of my older colleagues opted for early retirement. They didn’t want to be stressed out learning this new technology. Others took up the challenge and eventually were able to teach confidently using the computer and the projector instead of depending solely on the textbook and blackboard.

There are also many examples of successful learning when there is strong motivation to do so. The need to remain in touch with family and friends is a powerful incentive especially during the pandemic stay-home period. Hence older people have learned to use social media apps e.g. Whatsapp and Zoom. Facebook is now dominated by older users, resulting in younger people migrating to Instagram, Snapchat and Tik Tok. But aside from social media usage, seniors are still slow in making use of online services such as paying bills, booking a ride or making purchases. 

Instructors who conduct courses for seniors must bear in mind that older people learn differently from younger people. Hence, they need to be familiar with geragogy – the theory of how older people learn. For instance, seniors learn at a slower pace, and are more at ease learning with their peers than with much younger students. 

A case in point. Last month SeniorsAloud was among 29 NGOs selected from over 200 applications for a 4-week course conducted online. The objective was to help upskill NGOs and amplify their social impact. At 73, I was by far the oldest participant. The others were mostly in their 30s and 40s, including the instructors. My team mate Kamil and I took it as a challenge to learn as much as we could. The pace was fast, and the course content was demanding. Fortunately the instructors were very patient and encouraging, providing guidance at every step. We learned a lot especially how to use apps such as Canvas, Slack and Trello. Also Design Thinking and the Business Canvas Model which I had learned before but not applied. It was a good refresher. Digital knowledge needs to be applied to be of any use. It is easy for older learners to forget how to use applications after a lapse of time. 

 

The benefits of empowering seniors with digital tools are enormous. Aside from the convenience of carrying out tasks online and engaging socially online, seniors who run home-based businesses can make use of apps to promote their products or services and have the know-how to reach a wider market. 
So the ball is in the government’s court. With seniors, time is of the essense. How many more years do we have to wait for a building or a sustainable programme specially dedicated to re-training and upskilling our warga emas?
(The above letter published in The Star on 13 March 2021 is accessible at this link:
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FOR THE SINGLES ON VALENTINE’S DAY

It’s Valentine’s Day – again. While couples young and old celebrate the day exchanging gifts and Valentine cards, my thoughts, as always, are with those who will not be sitting down to a romantic candlelight dinner. Reason: they are single. To them, I say, “Happy Single Awareness Day!” I am one of you too. No need to dread this day. Indeed, our numbers are increasing. Today being single for an older woman is no longer a social stigma. If truth be told, women in unhappy marriages envy their single sisters but they do not have the courage to break free. To the happily married ones, a toast to you on this Valentine’s Day.

Unless you are married to someone wonderful, it’s better to remain single. I am not putting down the institution of marriage. But I seem to be hearing more couples getting divorced than getting married, especially among older couples. Once the children are grown and flown, a couple’s marriage is put to the test. Retired couples, in particular, find that being in each other’s company 24/7 can either rekindle the old flame of romance and passion, or it can extinguish forever the last embers of a dying marriage.

Which one are you? There’s a third one – being single and NOT available. 
It takes a lot of effort, compromise even sacrifice to keep a relationship going. Many young couples don’t have the patience to work at it. Gone are the days when wedding vows were taken seriously and couples remained married ’till death do us part’. Even after death, the bereaved spouse stayed faithful to the memory of the dearly beloved. Second marriages were almost unheard of, as were divorces. Indeed, to ask for a divorce would be akin to asking to be ostracized.

Today on Valentine’s Day, I dedicate the day to my parents. I remember them as a very loving couple. As a child, I used to listen with fascination to the love stories my mother told me about how my father wooed her. Their courtship days were like chapters taken from a Barbara Cartland novel. My father simply adored my mother, and spending time with her was something he treasured as we saw him only during the weekends. His work as a medical sales representative often took him outstation and away from the family.

My father treated my mother like she was a fragile porcelain doll. He was always eager to please her and make her happy. My mother bore him six children during their 10 years together. I was the eldest. My youngest sister never got to see my dad for he passed away in 1957 after a short period of illness. My mom was heavily pregnant with her sixth child when my dad left her – forever.

My parents – Annie Goh Kwee Foung and Jackie Fu Fook Im (1947)

My mother will be 94 this October. She has never remarried, and has remained a widow all these past 62 years. I am sure she still misses my father, that is, on days when she can remember, when her mind is clear, and her memory is sharp. For my mom has Alzheimer’s. The other day when I showed her this picture of my dad and her, I asked if she knew who the couple was. Without any hesitation, she said ‘That’s me and that’s your father. But he’s gone now. He was very good to me.’

Whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed, today is the day we celebrate LOVE. We should be celebrating love every day, in the little things we do, for the people we love. Love doesn’t have to cost a cent. Love can be a genuine smile, a warm hug or an affectionate kiss. Or a good deed for someone we don’t know but who needs our help.

Spread a little love today, and every day.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, EVERYONE!

(This post is updated from an earlier one posted on Valentine’s Day 2019. It is also posted in memory of my beloved mother who left us 10 days ago on 3 Feb 2021. She would have turned 95 in Oct this year.)

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RELIVING THE POP MUSIC OF THE 1960s

During the long months of stay-home, my daily dose of feel-good endorphins came not only from exercising but also from music. I have always enjoyed listening to music across many genres, graduating from jukebox top hit singles during my teenage years, to rock, blues, country and folk. I remember meticulously copying by hand hundreds of song lyrics into a songbook to sing along to. Those were the pre-Spotify days of radio and vinyl records.
Imagine how excited I was to discover Vintage Radio Sg a few months ago. It enabled me to relive the 1960s pop music scene again. There are four DJs helming the shows, spinning records for different language segments of listeners in Singapore, Malaysia, and the diaspora. I do dancercise to Brian’s selections every morning. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of 1950s-70s pop music.What amazes me is that I can remember many of the lyrics despite not having heard most of the songs since 1960s! Proof that the last thing we lose when our memory fades is music. 
(Click on Vintage Radio Sg and find out more about the shows and other goodies there, all specially curated for seniors. You can download the app on your phone. Doesn’t take up much data.)
In my high school days I lived on a music diet of Britain’s Top of the Pops, and later Casey Kasem’s American Top 40 and Billboard Top 100 on the radio. I never missed Dick Clark’s American Bandstand on our family’s black and white TV. In my late 20s, I was crazy enough to apply for a DJ position at Tin Mine discotheque, Hilton Hotel. I made it to the last five finalists after a gruelling interview that tested my knowledge of popular songs and singers.
 

I was a typical teenage, infatuated with the cute idols of those days – Cliff Richard, Ricky Nelson, Frankie Avalon, Paul Anka, Johnny Tillotson, Bryan Hyland, and their female counterparts like Brenda Lee, Connie Francis, Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark and Helen Shapiro. 

My friends and I were into the latest dance craze as well. We did the jive, rock and roll, twist, ago-go and rumba to bands like Bill Haley and the Comets, The Shadows, The Ventures, The Beach Boys, The Cascades, The Monkees, the Beatles and so many more. They were the forerunners of today’s boy bands and K-Pop groups. 
(Above) Who can ever forget ‘Shanty’ by The Quests? I was still in high school when it shot to the top of the charts and stayed there for months.
The 1960s music scene also saw the rise of local bands in Malaysia and Singapore doing cover versions of top hits. They had quite a following among university students, and regularly played at tea dances and concerts. Some of them like the Teenage Hunters, the Falcons, and the Quests (above) were so good they did gigs overseas in Germany, Hongkong and Vietnam. 

The recording studios were quick to sign up these bands and singers. Virtually every one of them released 45rpm records of their songs. There were Naomi and the Boys, Keith Locke (later replaced by Vernon Cornelius) and the Quests, the Ventures, the Stylers, the Blue Diamonds, Matthew and the Mandarins and others. There was also a proliferation of Malay and Chinese singers and their back-up bands like Jefrydin and Pop Yeh Yeh, and Rita Chao dubbed Queen of A Go-Go, the dance craze at the time.

(Above) Matthew and the Mandarins made famous their original country hit ‘Singapore Cowboy’.

While some of the 60s era singers and musicians have passed on, those that have remained never gave up their passion for playing music. They continue to perform at fund-raising events, reunions, and corporate functions. Others like Jimmy Lee have been keeping the memory of Elvis Presley alive via the Elvis Presley Friendship Club of Singapore. Credit also goes to the Singapore government for promoting 1960s music with free concerts in October in conjunction with International Day of Older Persons.

I attended all three of the above Elvis Tribute concerts in Singapore. Click on the links below to enjoy the videos I took of the performances. 
Then there are those, both musicians and fans alike, who gather at each other’s homes to jam and sing all those favorites of yesteryears. These get-togethers are always fun. Research studies show that music is therapeutic. It helps to improve wellbeing and reduces the risks of Alzheimer’s.
D-Asiatics (above) playing a cover version of ‘Midnight in Malaysia’ made popular by Boy and His Rollin’ Kids.
(Above) Mike Ho & Company: Chow on drums, Paul on rhythm, Jimmy Rampas on bass guitar playing The Shadows classic instrumental ‘Apache’.

(Above) Alfred Ho was the winner of Malaysia’s first national talentime contest in 1971, and was in Asia Got Talent 2017. All three judges loved his singing. He was busking weekly at KLCC LRT station until the MCO shutdown forced him to stop. He has since retired but his CDs are still available on sale at RM30 a copy. You can reach him at 012-3461232. 

Music keeps us feeling young, energetic and socially connected. If we can’t play an instrument, we can sing, or dance to music. Music feeds the soul and nourishes it. We need music in our lives. Period.